The thing is, that for a large part of my life I’ve managed to get by having a buzz of an imagination. The imagination is great. It’s the top resource in our young designer’s mental refrigerator . It’s normal and resourceful. The imagination is a normal symptom of a well behaving, chemically regulated brain (or refrigerator if you want to encourage that awful comparison that was invented because as of now I am staring deeply into the anonymous face of one fine refrigerator). And I’ve been seriously quiet as well, I still am. Being quiet is another way I get by. Paired with an overindulged imagination the damage of this formular extends only to me occasional lack of social motivation. I’m not crazy, I’m not depressed, I’m not effected by hallucinations, and never would I ever, ever, want to be. When given the choice to be happy take it, when given a chemically imbalanced mind you cannot choose.
Hey, Aiko Marie. “@aiko_hey.” Instagram. Instagram, 1 July 2015. Web. 24 May 2016.
Something that needs to be discussed in order to create a safe environment
Is the normalization of mental illness, not only in the use of vocabulary but a more general misuse of terminology. The use of mental disorders as adjectives for behavioral dysfunctions, one off feelings and with a general lack of sensitivity, is in effect creating an environment where it’s hard to differentiate between say the idea of O.C.D and the actually illness of O.C.D. Without any given thought, the schools I grew up in were full of these words, they were weird and when we learnt them we used them because they were interesting and slightly “bad ass” because no one used them that much. It’s an example, the miss use of mental illness terminology, that can warp the way mental illness holds position in society. Whereas mental illness is a serious chemical imbalance of the mind, in an adjective form mental illness becomes just another way to describe how one is feeling. I admit I didn’t always know this, but I’m making myself aware, in order to help.
The image above is a screen shot of an Instagram post by my younger sister whom posts under the name “aiko_hey” , and appears in the icon as Dwight Schrute of “The Office” (american sitcom) in this particular capture. About 2 years ago Aiko stopped attending schools because of the inflictions they had on her mental illness. I now see the way schools aren’t designed for brains like Aiko’s. Schools are loud, even when they are quiet. They are distant from things you love like your mum, your rabbit or the smell of your couch. They make you go there when you don’t want to, when you can’t explain to people that you’re unwell anywhere. First hand I observed how it scared my mother, my father, my family and my sister, to have a system fail you that you thought would work. If I had the means to answer a way school could be for everyone I would, but I haven’t the research, I haven’t the knowledge, all I can do is make thoughtful assessments even tho I want more of the world.
That’s all this assignment is right? Making thoughtful assessments of things we feel interest in. Things we’d love to change but a theory of change will have to suffice as a twist in the mind’s want to be “an activist”. Invest in ideas, in the future, as much as the presents state will nag and upset, a bunch of people all thinking nice and conscious will sort stuff out I suppose. This is a discussion, this study, that happens in my head and in my family and in the way I watch people talk and the way I watch movies and the failures and the weird way things succeed that I don’t understand but I want to. This is something soft, sensitive, with layers and little reminders included in the packaging . So much of this I did not know, and I’m going to learn some more and be a real help- not a figurative one, not help to world that I can only visualize it’s extent. For now this is right in front of me.
“And I fail
But when I can, I will
Try to understand
That when I can, I will”
-Chamberlin, Jimmy, Billy Corgan, James Iha, and D’Arcy Wretzky. Mayonaise. Smashing Pumkins. Virgin, 1993. CD.